Elephant in the room

I sit here today, a day before the 19th anniversary of my mom's death. This is always an emotional time for me, I reflect on her life and the time we spent together and compare our relationship with my relationship with my kids. Well, this year it is even more emotional for me, I have a huge elephant in the room right now! I had my yearly mammogram in December and got a letter last Wednesday that my results needed follow-up and had a follow-up mammogram on Thursday. The radiologist found what he called a fibroid cyst in my right breast and two areas in my left breast that he thought were lymph nodes. My doctor felt that with my mom's history it would be a good idea to do a MRI so we did that on Wednesday. Yesterday my doctor called and said that he felt I needed to have biopsies done on both breasts, the before labled fibroid cyst is now being called suspicious. I am scared, but not worried. As I told Robert last night, I fear the unknown and the consequences that come from the unknown, but I do not worry; I know that my God already knows what is there and the outcome of it all! I do ask for prayers, not for the results, but for peace for me and my family. Thanks!

Rene'

Picture:Devin being Devin

This is classic Devin, he put the tie and glasses on and came in my bedroom on Monday and said, "How do I look?" I asked him why he was wearing that and he said he thought it looked goofy and he felt like being goofy.

My picture for today

I read a post on my blog friend Robin's blog about doing a picture journal for 2010, so I am going to try to do at least one picture a week, I don't think I will have time when school starts back for a picture a day, but the pictures will be of my family, especially my boys, so I can look back at the pictures at the end of this year and see how much they have grown and changed. So here is the first picture of the year: Braxton playing the Beatles Rock band on the wii! He is sooo concentrating on what he is doing. Don't even ask why he has that hat on inside or why it is on sideways, he has his on style!!!

Happy New Year

I do not do resolutions, the never stick anyway. This year however, I do intend to make this year about me. I know it sounds selfish, but I don't mean it that way. I am going to take time this year to learn myself, to take care of myself and to learn to cherrish myself. If I can learn to take care of myself, then I will be able to take care of others better, be a better wife and mother, and by the end of the year I will be a RN!!! Looking forward to this year!

Happy New Year

WOW!

I was cleaning up my son, Devin's room and came across the rough draft of a paper that Devin had written titled Mom, My Hero. He had given me the final draft last year after his English teacher graded it and told him that she thought I would like to read it. I was swept away then, but today when I found the rough drafts I was really blown away! There were even more details in his rough drafts, it was amazing what he noticed in me and even respected. In moments that I did not realize he was watching me, he was. It made me think deeply, if he saw all of these things he perceived as good, what had he seen that was not good, that I did not realize. It made me realize what a big influence I am as a parent in my children's lives, both good and bad! What a big responsibility that is!!! I am honored that at 16 years old I am still his "hero" and I will try so much harder to deserve this title!

Merry Christmas

I had a great Christmas! All 3 of my boys were here on Christmas Eve! I so enjoyed having Storm home and his brothers loved it too, especially Devin! They were like 2 little kids again!!! Below are some pictures of all 3 of the boys!

Devin and his Run DMC shirt
Not sure Devin loved this hug from Braxton!

Braxton playing with his footbal from papa and mema on Christmas Eve.

Storm and Devin, not quite sure whaqt they were doing!

Two boys, one hat and possibly one brain! (their words not mine)

Storm in his Joker hat I got him for Christmas!

Most Wonderful Time of the year

I love Christmas! I love the lights, the smiling faces, the hustle and bustle of the season! I love it all! I love that I get to spend extra time with my sister because we do a lot of our shopping together. I actually have had even more time with her this year because she had surgery last week and I am her official taxi! I have loved it! This time of year makes me think of my mom, she is the one that instilled the love of this season in me. She was like a child at Christmas time. I miss her so badly at this time of year, but I also feel closer to her now than ever! I make sure that her traditions are passed on to my children, she always read "The Night Before Christmas" to us on Christmas Eve, and then my dad would read the True Christmas Story from the Bible just before we went to bed! My mom always had the family over every Christmas and of Course on Christmas Eve dinners with her best friend Wanda and her family! I pray that one day when I am no longer here on this side, that my children will be able to look back on the memories we are making now and smile as I do now!